Heartache~For Laura~

*this one is old too..*

My heartaches
My headhurts
I can't breathe
I can't move
I miss the laughs
I miss the smiles
The parties, the jokes,
The girly days, pedicures
Us being goofy.
Us being cool
Why where you there
Why did you leave
Why are you gone??


I'm so mad you were taken.
We needed you here!
What were you thinking!
I wish you were here,
So I could yell at you or
Argue with you
You were my sister,
 my firend my inspiration,
you made me fight harder
 care more and never give up.
now you're not here; we're alone...
Wondering if things could be different,
if we could have changed it somehow...
I wished I'd made you come
home with me that weekend,
maybe then you'd still be here.


*on a side note of this* The first half of this is written about a month after my friend died. I wrote the second half later...once anger and set in past grief and denial...

It's ironic that I just told a friend last week that we can't over analyize things I said you can't live life on coulda, shoulda, woulda. I told that friend; when your times up it's up.
...i do believe that..it's weird how in anger you see may see things differently.
My friend would have celebrated her birthday this week. When I realized that; it hurt. She's gone but never forgotten.

Remember girl; not one day will pass in my life where I don't think of you. You definately changed my life forever; you were the unexpected friend in the most unlikely of places but you definately changed me for the better. Save me a seat; I'll see you when I get there! Love ~ME